dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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