Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
