Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just high enough for therapy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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