My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Drunk is not a location!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize