brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
