he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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