I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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