So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
