she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
