Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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