jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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