You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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