did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
