Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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