I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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