i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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