Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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