you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
