who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
