are you still at the devil's house?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
