Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
