So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Boobs speak an international language.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize