I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
