just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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