do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
