how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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