I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
