K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
