We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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