forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
