Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
