took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize