it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
bring money and cleavage
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
