I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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