u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
