U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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