Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
