definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
