I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had to cum in my sink.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
