Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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