I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
