Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
