i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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