My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize