I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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