you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
