i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
