Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
