Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
