your parents love me but you hate me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
