I need help removing her.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
