i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
