also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
