Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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