I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
