We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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