we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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