i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
