i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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