Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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