You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i out mim tonsoeep
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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