he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
